Before the drunk god fought Darius against Kay and Zach against Zach

before the drunk god

Late Wednesday night, I received an invitation from one Zach Ruiter, a controversial activist (accused of misrepresenting, manipulating and betraying indigenous communities he worked with).

Hereafter: Activist Zach

The event he invited me to was being organised by one Zach Paikin, a controversial young Liberal (accused of participation in rape culture — publicly apologised for — and unexamined privilege)

Hereafter: Liberal Zach

Name of host organisation: The Rosedale Club.
Time/Date: 8 PM, Thursday April 18th
Dress code: suit and tie mandatory for men
Party format: scotch, cigars and political conversation.
Topic: aboriginal issues
Honoured speaker: National Post columnist Jonathan Kay.

Activist Zach’s beef:
The twistedness of having a scotch drinking, tie wearing party to have rich white people talk about issues that affect communities where alcoholism is a major problem and in which poverty often precludes suit and tie ownership, without even inviting a speaker from those same communities to represent themselves.

Activist Zach’s solution:
Bring an angry Native hip hop artist to call out the whole Rosedale Club for racism and privilege, and invite a bunch of other activists to tag along for a bit of fun.

Mandatory

The Rosedale Club.
Who were they? Well, I didn’t know about them in particular, but Rosedale I know quite well. Single wealthiest neighbourhood in Canada. Old money. Average personal income for the neighbourhood? Well over $200,000. Average household income? More like $440,000. Liberal Zach’s father’s income for 2012? $307,539.

I grew up around these people. From the ages of 5 to 13 I lived in Moore Park, and often hung out with my friend Tupac a ten minute walk away in Rosedale. I played cello in the Mooredale String Orchestra. Rosedale… my neighbours growing up, and my current employers (I’ve done landscaping at four residences there many times). And you’re telling me there’s a party where I can go dress up, drink their scotch and smoke their cigars? And Activist Zach is going to come make a scene? And his nemesis, Liberal Zach, is a graduate student in the Munk School of Global Affairs, the very organisation I rejected my degree to protest?

Relevant personal backstory:

On April 8th I’d returned to Canada from Guatemala. While there, I acquired from a Mayan shopkeeper the wooden mask of a stern, powerfully bearded man, only realising some hours later that it both closely resembles me (at an older age), and is an idol of a local deity: Maximon, affiliated with Judas Iscariot. Mayan god of tobacco, alcoholism, marital infidelity and revenge, among other things.

The constricted man, powerful to free himself: Tobacco Simon

MaximonIdol

… and the Rosedale Club is having a tobacco and alcohol party to talk about aboriginal issues? For which some activists want revenge? And I’ve been invited to come troll as part of the entourage of a guest speaker? And a suggested $10 donation covers unlimited cigars and scotch? 

Well now! By Judas, Maximon and I had a party to go to!

Costume:

My most colourful pants (ropas tipicas de Solola).
A jagged metal necklace cut from the G20 security fence.
A piece of a buffalo tooth shattered on the same.
Black shirt.
Suit jacket.
My father’s tie.
My old Riff Raff shoes from my Rocky Horror years.
Senegalese mahogany cane.
Twisted red hat with black and white Guatemalan band, freshly washed and retwisted

I was stoked. The hilarity was simply unavoidable. With this mix of players, ANYTHING that could happen would end up being completely absurd. Oh the lulz… my last post online before leaving: “time to shenan again”

My father’s comment to me after hearing my plan and seeing my costume: “I love your life!”

Mask1

Disclaimer:
I did not take any notes, have not conducted subsequent interviews, did not use a recording device, and I was drinking and smoking. The details below cannot be more accurate than my no doubt exemplary memory.

The Players Gather

I rode the subway from Coxwell to Spadina, during which time I said “buenes noches!” (a Spanish nighttime greeting) to about 8 people and had actual conversations with two. Got off, rounded the corner, saw the activists waiting for more people at the intersection and ducked into a coffee shop for a caffeinating kickstart. I bought and quickly drank a cappuccino and then met up with a very confused group being greeted at once by both my foolishness and by a very enthusiastic, well groomed young man in a suit and tie, telling us we were early but we should come to his place anyway and get started because it’s his place and why not? Most of us were wearing ties, so he thanked us profusely for coming in costume (?). We walked a block north and came across what appeared to be… a bunch of young nerds in suits?

Let’s pause for a second to look at a couple of the brilliantly incisive posters Activist Zach had prepared so as to raise the discourse and get us thinking in the kind of nuanced, open minded way that could help these clearly very powerful people to reexamine the situation in the world and work toward doing things in a better way that could benefit everyone instead of just taking everything for themselves.

Privilege

Hm, yes. Yes I do. Though in fairness, two of the men pictured don’t identify as white but as Middle Eastern, which apparently isn’t white anymore/again? They could certainly pass as white, regardless of how they identify. Anyway, having met with and smiled next to powerful men seemed to be one of the worst sins Activist Zach could think to pin on Liberal Zach ahead of time, aside from all the sheer lulziness of the party itself. Content be damned; Activist Zach was indignant that suit wearing men are even allowed to talk to each other in their own homes. Surely they must be stopped. Social drinkers must never be allowed to talk about Aboriginal issues! Scandal!

Racist

Such compelling evidence! Subtle and well argued to be sure! Well armed with such brutally compelling and in depth commentary, Activist Zach and his friends arrived to confront Liberal Zach and his bunch of broke university students in their 20s having a powerful-person dress up party, throat deep in satire and irony from its very conception. lol. What’d we expect? Actual honest to Jarvis Rosedale old money types? What we got was a bunch of middle and upper middle class Liberal party insiders having a good, old-fashioned “Bait the Conservatives” party, who had to their amazement managed to also bait a bunch of radicals this time as well. They hadn’t even planned to have an event about aboriginal issues at all… they’d merely planned to drink scotch and argue about politics with some Conservative guests. But when one of those guests announced that he wanted to talk about aboriginal issues, the activists declared them to be evil racists for not immediately cancelling the scotch, the online argument escalated, and what quickly emerged was a fiasco beyond anything the Rosedale Clubbers could have anticipated.

Why is it “The Rosedale Club”?

The name, “The Rosedale Club,” was meant to be ironic. The Rosedale Golf Club used to have signs saying “no dogs or jews,” and all the founding members of The Rosedale Club are Jewish. Calling it “The” Rosedale Club made it even better, making it sound somehow official, and synergising perfectly with the suits, ties and cigars. None of their three meetings so far have even been in Rosedale; the two men who’ve been hosting live in the Annex and the Beaches.  In the words of another guest, on looking in the bedroom, “nothing screams ruling elite like Star Wars bedsheets.” Probably the fact that the event was in a rental house in the Annex, not in Rosedale at all, should have been a tip off (it was not the house of Liberal Zach — whose family is indeed quite rich — but of one of the other Rosedale Clubbers, an indebted recent graduate with a useless and overpriced degree from the University of Toronto. A couple of years ago I lived in a similar house one block away; beautiful Victorian architecture notwithstanding, my rent was $600/month). Like making suits and ties mandatory, calling it The Rosedale Club succeeded in tricking us all into thinking the founders must be old money, and therefore that they should be paid attention to. And Activist Zach played right into it.

I didn’t take a thorough survey, but one man attending works as a pilot. Another works in construction. Another is a consultant who says he generally refuses to take Conservative clients. Most were graduate students studying a variety of subjects which in some way connect with politics. Liberal Zach was the only one from the Munk School, as far as I could gather. I was even reunited with a friend who I fondly remembered from a radio panel discussion we did together back when I rejected my degree (Yves Guillaume A. Messy, on the right in the following picture). I’d expected former neighbours… what I got were *current* neighbours: my peers.

Yves

This, of course, did not lessen the hilarity at ALL. It just meant that the hosts were in on the joke; they knew full well how ridiculous the whole thing was. They knew why I was laughing. They knew I was there to troll, and they were emphatically in favour of me doing so. They were trolling too! And they’d somehow gotten all these people with totally different perspectives and knowledge sets to the same party, to drink, smoke and talk respectfully and intelligently about the things we disagree on. Straight up Toronto stylz. All for a suggested donation of $10!

On money: they ended up with enough donations for a $23 profit on the night, and decided to donate the proceeds to a local aboriginal group, laughing about it as a joke PR move. “All [insubstantial] profits donated to…”; a perfect parody of the tokenistic philanthropy of the powerful people we were there to mock, who might poison the water and compensate for it by building a park for tourists. Nobody but the LCBO and tobacconist were paid; not the speakers, nor the organisers, nor our lovely assortment of photographers and writers.

How they managed to bait both Conservatives and Radicals at the same time:

It was the suit and tie dress code that did it. Stroke of party planning genius. By adorning themselves in status symbols (scotch, cigars, suits, ties), a group of Liberals were able to look rich enough that everyone treated them as if they were important. As if they weren’t just a bunch of underutilized young people, overeducated, in debt and disenfranchised by the very same mass alienation system that’s looming over the rest of us: neoliberal capitalism, which, in the words of Vandana Shiva, “makes Indians of us all.” A system which, it should be kept in mind, simultaneously rewards Toronto — and therefore everyone present, not just the whites — for having some citizens willing to profit massively by poisoning the groundwater and murdering the indigenous who object in countries like Guatemala and Papua New Guinea. Indigenous folk lose their land, we get fancy hospital equipment. Turns out, even if you’re a broke 20-something with no career prospects, if you can at least *look* like you might hold office or own a mining company, people take you seriously. A cigar and a suit can be all it takes. Symbols are powerful. Because of the ties, the Conservatives felt comfortable showing up. Because of the suits, the activists had something extra to be indignant about and therefore more reason to come. Suddenly we had Liberal party insiders, Radical hip hop artists and influential Conservatives all in the same space, drinking, smoking and talking. Recipe for an Epic Win.

Oh, the other thing about encouraging the men to wear suits and ties? Makes for some dashing photos.

Derek, Cameron, Darius

(from left to right: activist Derek Soberal, guest speaker Cameron Monkman, aka Young Jibwe, and Darius Mirshahi, aka Testament of “Test Their Logik”)

How it All Went Down

Liberal Zach had initially arranged for two powerful Conservatives to show up, speak and debate with the attending Liberals. The two speakers were to be former Progressive Conservative Premier of Ontario Ernie Eves, and National Post columnist Jonathan Kay. Then, Eves, perhaps sensing shenanigans, cancelled — leaving open a spot for Activist Zach to arrange for Cameron Munkman, aka hip hop artist Young Jibwe, to speak instead. Instead of listening to a former Tory Premier say what he thinks about aboriginal issues, we got an angry Native hip hop artist. Activist Zach’s idea was that he’d call the club out on racism and rip them a new one over it. Because we still didn’t have quite enough controversy, the Facebook wall for the event got so nasty that several people complained about feeling threatened until, as damage control, the event was made private, and some of the discussion deleted. Evidently, Cameron had never actually clicked “attending,” so this meant he could no longer see the event page. He assumed he’d been banned, and arrived ready for a fistfight, wondering whether the event might even have been cancelled altogether.

Showdown2

With Activist Zach manning the camera, Cameron confronted Liberal Zach, demanding an apology, only to be met by a bunch of conciliatory men in suits insisting that it was all a misunderstanding, and saying how they’re thrilled to have him and excited to hear what he has to say. One even professed to being a fan of his hip hop and podcasts. Cameron commented that finding a suit and tie to wear to a Rosedale party would be the last thing on his mind when he’s dealing with poverty and trying to help his people, and Liberal Zach responded that as a speaker Cameron can wear whatever he wants, and the dress code was just for fun anyway; it was never meant to be enforced. Meanwhile I stand in the background laughing at the whole situation, sporting my artifacts of freedom and control, displaying an idol of a Mayan god of vengeance in my right hand.

Mask4

The hilarity hit an early climax when Activist Zach engaged Liberal Zach directly. The whole interview, from my perspective, was completely absurd. Insipid questions, insipid answers. Highlight: Liberal Zach believes there’s no such thing as white privilege (and argues he’s not white but Jewish), falling back on how the Charter of Rights and Freedoms makes everything equal. Because, yeah, look how equal everyone is today, right? (btw, that’s the new drinking game: every time a Liberal mentions the Charter in the leadup to the next election, take a drink)

I wish I had images or a transcript of that interview to share, but I must wait for Activist Zach to edit and release his take on the event before I get to laugh at it again. Suffice it to say that neither Zach could have possibly played his part any better. The perfect face for The Rosedale Club, career politician to the bone, confronted by his antithesis, the career activist. And they even spell their names the same way! I defy anyone to ever perform more convincingly as an overprivileged career Liberal, or as a narrow-minded and self-righteous activist. Hats off to them both on their stellar pageantry.

Meanwhile, uncomprehended but somehow liked by both sides, Maximon and I stood in the background, cackling. But did he really just deny the existence of white privilege? This man, whose father made $307,539 last year, whose name can get Ernie Eves and John Tory to speak for free in front of his student group just by asking, thinks that his background has nothing at all to do with his power? I guess, to be fair, he is a student at the Munk School, so he probably never received a decent education. The worst that too much money can buy.

Mask2

Nearby, several activists congregated awkwardly at the side of the road, refusing to engage with any of the various friendly people present (behind me in above picture; note the crossed arms. I’m blocking the view of more people). They waited until people started to go inside for the beginning of the actual party (not just this road-side side-show), and then started throwing eggs at the house. Keeping it classy as always, Toronto.

Cameron, profoundly embarrassed, apologised repeatedly for the disrespectful conduct of his “comrades,” by this point talking about how earlier he’d wanted to come here to fight someone but now he was happy to be here and impressed with how friendly and welcoming everyone was. Everyone seemed pretty much in agreement that egging the house was uncalled for, possibly with the exception of Activist Zach who wanted more “direct action,” disappointed that I’d opted to stand back and laugh my ass off rather than disrupt the event. Personally, I was unconvinced on a theatric level. If you’re going to troll, at least do it in a lulzy manner. Eggs while nobody is watching? Please. I can, and will, do better.

I took Maximon over to the selection of scotch, poured myself a nice large glass and gave a little to him before drinking from it myself. I placed his idol next to the “IDLE NO MORE” sign (pun intentional), directly behind where the speakers would speak. I lit a cigar and gave him some smoke. And then I left him there, to observe and background whatever would be said, while I drank, smoked and talked politics with a bunch of Liberals. 

Maximon mask

I told them about how I’d rejected my degree. I told them about Peter Munk and the Munk School of Global Affairs. I was expecting conflict on this, but Liberal Zach said he hates the Munk School too (for different reasons than mine) and no longer wishes to be affiliated with them. He will still finish his degree, but will say he got his degree from the University of Toronto without specifying the Munk School. I guess resentful complicity is better than enthusiastic complicity? Maybe? Meh. We’re all still complicit merely by living in this city.

The event is called to order. Cameron gave an emotional speech in which he expressed both the gratitude and disgust he felt toward the others present, while making clear his rough background, the awful conditions some FN people are living with, and the absolute necessity for Canadian society to respect Native land claims. We all applauded him at several points.

Cameron

Then it was Jonathan Kay’s turn to speak (see image below). His talk focused on how people on reservations are currently at an economic disadvantage due to not being allowed to own their own homes, therefore having nothing to use as collateral against a loan, therefore unable to GET a loan, and therefore are in a worse position economically, whether for starting a business, building a “nest egg” for retirement. Their entire ability to participate in neoliberal capitalism hamstrung by the capitalist’s worst enemy: communal ownership. The solution, he believes, is integration into capitalism: give Native individuals the same right to own their own house as everyone else has. Then they can mortage it. Because I guess the real Indian problem is that they don’t currently owe enough to the banks, and if we could only do away with their collective land ownership, everything would be better. You know, like how things have improved all the other times we’ve taken land away from FN groups for all sorts of noble reasons that always situate “us” with the education, suits and answers as separate from “them” who “we” need to come in and help. Because nothing is quite so helpful as having bankers take control of your land while getting a PR bump for doing things “in the Native community’s best interest.”

Speech

Darius immediately, well, tested this logic. He called Kay out for advocating policies which would over time lead to the loss of land for the communities concerned, and therefore the extinguishment of sovereignty, effectively destroying some First Nations altogether. The two went back and forth, both coming across as intelligent, widely knowledgeable and eloquent. Quite the contrast to the farcical Zach-off witnessed earlier, these two men, Darius and Kay, both had things of substance to say! Their essential difference was that Kay believes individual suffering should trump identity preservation, while Darius believes that it’s essential to protect FN control of their ancestral lands, and won’t sacrifice that just so a few more Natives can afford to retire in Florida, or whatever it is Kay thinks they should be doing with their home equity. More questions, more debate. Great discussion. Good mix of perspectives and opinions. Respect and openness all around. Some of us were pretty weird about the idea that neoliberal capitalism, a system currently in a state of crisis, is an appropriate solution to ANY problems, let alone endemic poverty in marginalised communities. But, hey, that’s what you get for inviting a Conservative over for scotch and arguments.

Cigar

Kay argued well that letting the banks own more Native land would help some people currently alive to lead better lives, but Darius countered that it’s more important to play the long game, to think in terms of seven generations from now; under Kay’s solution, he pointed out, the land would almost certainly belong to the banks within just two or three generations, rendering this neoliberal excuse for a “solution” completely unacceptable. This “solution” reiterates the long standing desire of some white Canadians to “solve the Indian problem” by forcibly removing any separation between Natives and the rest of society. Total assimilation. Perfect choice for an honoured guest! It was like 1899 all over again.

Next time let’s honour Darius instead.

Group photo time!

Racists

Aren’t we all so pretty in our suits and ties? Here I am practising my stern face. Grrr. Notice the copy of Watchmen on the bookshelf, and R2-D2 on the bedsheets in the background.

Shmoozing and boozing time! Great conversations with a number of insightful people. The fourth man from the left above taught me about the history of Somaliland, a small country which seceded from Somalia with a 97% vote in a referendum years ago, but which is still not recognised internationally. The woman in the centre and a couple others of us had a conversation about how we can work to prevent rape, focusing on teaching the values of consent, respect and physical autonomy. I also explained to several men what privilege is and why, yes, as white men living in Toronto we most certainly *are* at an advantage and should acknowledge that.

I for one love my privilege. It lets me get away with things, so I can shenan all I want and still traipse across borders without ever really getting hassled (well, so far). This is of course not exclusively because I’m white, but because of my class background, of which race is certainly an important part. My family might not have had the same money as our Moore Park and Rosedale neighbours, but we had the same ethnicity, so we fit right in. And I still do. I can treat residents of the wealthiest neighbourhood in Canada like my peers. I could be a Rosedale Club member unironically if I really wanted to. Of course my race is part of that, even though, yes, upper class black people have things way better than lower class whites. Race is an important factor, while class is most of the story.

Good conversations, good scotch, good party. One of the men described me as one of the most rational people he’d ever talked to. The few women present (there were five at first and only two later in the evening) seemed to have a great time, made great points and were listened to and included in the conversation (it says a lot about contemporary gender relations that I need to *specify* that the women participated and were listened to, doesn’t it?). Racial mix, pretty diverse… gender not so much. Notice that the dress code only applied to the men, the drink was a traditional “man’s drink,” we had a mandatory phallic symbols to wear around our necks, and secondary optional ones to suck on in our mouths.

Shmoozing

Wait, why is Liberal Zach ordering everyone to get/stay inside? Are you serious? Cameron is outside potentially fighting someone and the Liberals are scared?

Complex situation. Lots of intense emotions. Lots of people freaking out or feeling threatened. Here’s the consensus the shaking suited men inside seemed to have arrived at: Cameron, fresh off a recent family tragedy, received a call from his fiancee (or girlfriend?). She said something that upset him, and he almost took it out on his interlocutor, the young dorky host who’d been feeling like they’d really been seeing eye to eye and was profoundly disappointed that they didn’t get to talk more. A man named Ehssan tried to separate them, pushing Cameron. Cameron raised a fist. Everyone lost their shit. Liberals fled inside, activists gathered on the porch to try to calm Cameron down, drunk and upset for dozens of different reasons all at once. Darius, Activist Zach and Cameron remained huddled there for what felt like a long time while inside, visibly shaken drunk men in ties speculated about how they might be able to get people to safety, as if the now-crying Young Jibwe was going to chase us all down and kill us. Now, I felt bad for Cameron, and I could sympathise with the men who were shocked at even this mere hint of violence. Living in a neighbourhood like the Annex in downtown Toronto, you don’t often get threatened physically, so it’s understandable that they were rattled. Mostly, though, I thought the whole situation was hilarious. Completely unplanned, and through his own personal suffering (it was his lover, not even a guest, who’d really set him off), Cameron had actually succeeded in taking what was already a ridiculous evening to a whole new level, and succeeded in injecting into the bougie Liberal privilege bubble a taste of the pain and danger that he and his community deal with every day. Now it was not just words: now they were feeling it. I could not have scripted it better. It was energising, uncomfortable, illuminating and totally unforgettable.

I’m told that after he left, he was beaten by the Toronto Police near Kennedy Station. The well spoken Native man, the hip hop artist, Young Jibwe, fresh from drinking scotch and debating politics with a bunch of young Liberals, apologising for getting their house egged and then almost punching someone out before leaving and getting his shit kicked in by the cops.

What a night.

Thank you, Cameron, for your sacrifices.

Back at the party, more of the same as before. Good, in depth, respectful political discussions between people with differing viewpoints but lots of knowledge, patience to hear each other out, cigars and scotch all around. We even smoked a little Chocolate Thai before leaving — nobody objected in the slightest to the recreational burning of hemp flowers, although most of the group didn’t partake. I packed up the Mayan idol, left and rode the subway with two other revellers, continuing to talk about politics as we went. I walked one of them to his home in the Beaches and we agreed to meet for Ethiopian food or beer some time soon.

I wandered around the Beaches for a time, thinking thoughts, getting high, practising martial arts with my cane and making my way gradually back to Coxwell & Danforth, where a man in a sandwich shop said he was going to rape me and implied he already had another victim. I opted for getting the fuck away and calling the cops, although afterwards I considered whether the better thing to do might have been to simply brandish my weapon and confront him directly. I just don’t know.

As always, these things are complicated.

********************************************************************************

As a postscript, I’d like to refer you to an article written about the same party by someone who wasn’t there who figures it was all about white suprematism.

http://hughgoldring.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-genteel-face-of-white-supremacy.html

and,  here’s a more informed piece also about the Rosedale Club, discussing privilege and race:

http://pleaserevise.tumblr.com/post/45227168765/being-the-white-guy-in-the-picture

Activist Zach’s no doubt stellar and utterly unbiased video is still forthcoming.

Cameron says he’s fine, just a little sore. And he said he liked this article when I sent him a recent draft. Woo!

In the matter of Darius against Kay, they both made good arguments, but I’m going to pick Darius as winner because, frankly, what Kay is advocating is an awful idea, and Darius demonstrated that quite effectively.

In the matter of Zach against Zach, they were both insipid, but I’m going to pick the Liberal as the winner, because, unlike the fanaticism of Activist Zach, Liberal Zach actually seemed open to and interested in listening and debating with people he currently disagrees with. Also, he was in on the lulz in a more meaningful way. He needs some serious educating, and needs to step outside of his privilege bubble, but he’s young. He doesn’t need to become Dalton McGuinty. Even if they look the same.

(none of the photos in this article were taken by me. Most were taken by Activist Zach, who was courteous enough to share them despite our disagreements. The rest were internet scavenged)

Poems Español

A few days ago I got back to Canada from two months in Guatemala, spent mostly sitting in hammocks, looking at flowers and volcanoes, smoking stemmy/seedy pot, and writing an enormous volume of poetry. I also studied Spanish for two weeks in Santa Cruz la Laguna. While I wrote about 500 haiku in English, I wrote the following seven en Español (haikus are seventeen syllable poems in lines of 5/7/5. In Japan they’re supposed to be about the changing seasons, but since the beat poets, there’s an English tradition of writing them on any topic). Figure that’s a good place to start sharing some of what I’ve written. Enjoy!

San Marcos la Laguna, Lago Atitlan

Hola, amiga!
Yo no hablo español
Paro, todo bien!

En la manaña,
Yo voy a Panajachel
Quieres tu halgo?

Vista de Lago
Estaño, oxidado
Pueblo, bonito

2010_07_05_SantaCruzlaLaguna1
Muy ponderoso!
Relampago ariba
Volcan Atitlan!

Silencioso.
Excepto el viento
Silba, el pasa

Les tres hermanas:
Maize, frijoles, y la
Calabacera

P1000301
Escribo poems
Dificil en Español!
Mucha sílabas!

(English translations: “Hello, friend! I don’t speak Spanish, but it’s all good!” “In the morning I’m going to Panajachel. Want anything?” “View of the lake. Tin, rusted. People, beautiful.” “Very mighty! Lightning over Atitlan volcano!” “The storm is silent, except for the whistling wind, flying ever past” “The three sisters: corn, beans and squash” “Writing poems is difficult in Spanish! Many syllables!”

Line and Colour

While reviewing some old pictures I came across some images I made back in 2007, using the most esteemed of all art tools: MS Paint. Figured I’d post a few of ‘em here… eventually I might even post some images I made this decade! But not right now.

At the Border of Trust

At the Border of Trust

Best Face Forlorn

BestFaceForlon

CorruptionCorruption

New ControlNew Cotnrol2

No-one Will Invade My Private SanctumNoone Will Invade My Private Sanctum

Power Struggle in Sumer
PowerStruggleinSumer

A Slight Miscalculation of WillSlight Miscalculation of the Will

The FakerThe Faker

The Gaping Maw of EnnuiThe Gaping Maw of Ennui

Total Loss of ControlTotal Loss of Control

In conclusion: art is really easy and fun to make. I wouldn’t claim to be nearly as good at it as some of my highly talented friends, but nor does one need to be. These were just a few doodles in Paint… about as amateurish as you can get. And I still like them. Hurray!

Make something pretty. You’ll feel better.

How Gays Marrying “Threatens” the Institution of Marriage

It has been often claimed, and the claim often ridiculed, that gays marrying threatens the institution of marriage. Proponents of marriage equality seem mystified by this: how could a marriage between two people constitute an attack on somebody else’s marriage? The usual interpretation is that the claim is merely repeated uncritically by bigots seeking to rationalise their bigotry, and this may often be the case. Gay marriage does, however, threaten the concept of marriage which some of its opponents hold, not because of the particular unions between any particular homosexuals, but rather because it represents and reinforces a change that has already taken place. By marrying, gays make it apparent what straight people are already doing, but which many traditionalists never approved of, seek to reject, and have until recently been able to mostly successfully ignore.

Gay couple

Many epistemic shifts have occurred in recent history, radically changing the way in which we conceive of society and relate to one another. Marriage we have come to view as the ratification of a love bond (“I love you, let’s get married!”), instead of as a contractual agreement geared toward the production of families. However it is conceived of, a particular marriage may or may not involve romantic love, and may or may not lead to the production of a “family,” and this remains true no matter what gender(s) the participants usually find sexually attractive: the transition has been in the perceived purpose of marriage. This transition has already taken place, but incompletely: one married couple I know chose each other largely arbitrarily, believing that marriage ought not to be predicated on a prior love relationship which is likely to change over time: a shaky foundation to be sure, absolute and eternal as it may feel. Indeed, many Christians (and others) were never part of the (mostly big city) culture in which the shift largely took place, or else have chosen to resist it. These are people who would balk at the notion that a couple would divorce because they don’t love each other anymore. The way we date and have sex (for pleasure!?) is shocking to them… but they don’t have to see it, and can go on mostly pretending it isn’t happening, that their way is the official, proper way.

Of course, once we began to see marriage as the recognition of love between two people, gay marriage became a logical necessity. If marriage is about love, then anyone who loves should be able to marry (unless lack of consent or other factors should intervene). But by legally recognising same sex unions, we entrench in law what was previously subtle: just as gay marriage follows naturally from the transition, so recognition of the transition follows naturally from legal gay marriage. No longer does the movement toward romantic love as the basis of marriage merely inhere in the practices and beliefs of some or even most couples; now it’s official, and part of the same legal framework that purports to grant legitimacy also to the marriages of the traditionalists. It has become obvious: the majority of contemporary marriages, hetero or otherwise, are radically removed from the “traditional” conception of marriage. This revelation has devastating consequences for the symbol systems of those who still hold to a different tradition, and until now thought that the legal system was an extension of their values. It is not. They do not control our ideas, or our definitions, or our behaviours. And they never really did, but now they can’t even pretend anymore.

Ignorance-is-Bliss

This is almost the same reason why some parents are uncomfortable with their children’s friends dating someone of the same sex. So long as their child is dating someone of the opposite sex, they can play a “don’t ask, don’t tell” game where they secretly know they’re having sex, and that they probably won’t marry, but the possibility remains that they might be working toward the production of a new reproductive marital unit. With a gay couple that isn’t seen as a possibility, so the same strategy of wilful ignorance no longer applies, and the fact that they’re really in it for something other than reproduction is revealed not just for the gay couple, but for all couples within the cultural group, some of whom may jump to the defence of the gay couple, proving what their parents feared. Thus, the gay couples are threatening, not because they’re different, but because they’re the same as the rest of us.

Open, Inclusive Drug Research/Education: high chance or pipe dream?

How did you learn about drugs? From your school, your government, your friends? The internet? Was what you learned useful? Was it trustworthy?

There are more drugs available today than at any time in history. Global connectivity has allowed unprecedented access to psychoactive plants and fungi from all over the world, while ever more synthetics, from Shulgin‘s tryptamines and phenethylamines to myriad cannabinoids and beyond, are discovered and disseminated. These are powerful agents of transformation, capable of healing, destroying and inspiring. Sadly, the shock induced by so many mutagens acting simultaneously upon the macroorganism of white colonial society led to an autoimmune response that has largely pre-empted credible public education and research. We are left to investigate for ourselves the effects, uses and dangers of those drugs we encounter in our social milieux, under threat of imprisonment.

The internet, thankfully, has made knowledge production and consumption far easier than they have ever been before. Websites such as Erowid and Wikipedia provide access to massive databases of information and operate largely beyond the coercive control of our reactionary immune system (law enforcement, the judiciary, mental health professionals, etc). Wonderful as these may be, they are also inherently fragmentary and limited: to make use of them you must already know both what to look for, and how to assess the credibility and relevance of whatever you stumble across. Harm reduction organisations such as TRIP! and Dance Safe have also provided invaluable services, but insofar as their mandate is specifically to prevent harms, their role is not to provide truly comprehensive education, which must be about far more than harms. I believe that we are in need of a curriculum which fully explains why and how people alter their consciousness, that prospective drug users might have the tools to make informed decisions, whether to use or to abstain. Such a curriculum must strive to eliminate any ideological or institutional biases which could threaten its comprehensiveness or credibility. Neither “pro-drug” nor “anti-drug,” it must acknowledge the complexity of the subject matter, and must be made both freely available to and usable by those who need it.

What form it should take, and who may be trusted to design it, are open for discussion. My proposal is below. If you agree with the above, but not with what follows,* then I urge you to consider the problem carefully and perhaps come up with a proposal of your own.

If not us, who? If not now, when?

Proposed curriculum structure:
Open ended and multi-modal, resting on web articles, print materials (pamphlets and zines to be made freely available through as many venues as is feasible), videos and seminars. A website will be built to serve as a platform for videos, graphics, articles and participatory research tools.

Using these media, we will seek to systematically answer the following questions:

  • Why do people alter their consciousness?
  • What are the different states or forms of consciousness?
  • How do people try to navigate between them?
  • What are the consequences of those methods?

The first question — that of why — I have already answered, and it is on the basis of that work that I now submit myself for consideration as someone who could be involved in the design and implementation of such a project. My CV is available here. If you like what I’ve produced in my spare time with no funding, how about what we could do with a budget and a research team?

The research team:

We will establish a team of researchers and artists – free from the constraints of government, corporate and academic institutions – to develop resources and models. By fostering collaboration between researchers and artists, we will provide the best information we can find or produce in the most beautiful and engaging ways possible. We will collaborate and share resources with extant harm reduction organisations, such as the TRIP! Project (with whom I have a pre-existing relationship), without focusing on either harms or rave culture. Researchers will be selected for possessing a diversity of skills, interests and training, so as to mitigate or avoid biases inherent to any one style of thought or analysis. In the interest of maximising flexibility, we will begin with a core team of no more than five members, allowing for both diversity and the viability of consensus building.

How much funding we are able to procure (crowd-sourced through IndieGoGo plus other donations and any relevant grants) will determine the scope and extent of the project, such as how many people can be hired and in what capacity. I estimate that salaries for a small but robust research team, plus costs (printing of educational literature to be distributed at health centres and elsewhere; web development; honoraria for non-salaried contributors and respondents), could be adequately provided for by an annual budget $250,000, with no annual salary to exceed $50,000 regardless of funding level. My hope is to obtain a one or two year mandate, and to see what we can produce in that time, after which a new project (or phase) can be proposed. If we receive less or more funding, the project can be scaled accordingly.

Goals:

  • Catalogue forms of consciousness, techniques of consciousness alteration, precautions and recommendations
  • Formulate models that usefully order the information so as to maximise both comprehension and concision
  • Track outcomes, comparing stated intentions, techniques employed and consequences

Research methods:

  • Review of extant and emerging literature (books, pamphlets, websites and scientific journals)
  • Semi-structured interviews: the research team will agree on a basic interview guide to be supplemented with questions pertaining to avenues of investigation unique to each researcher. Each will select respondents according to different criteria, to be collectively discussed and agreed upon. Target populations will be various subsets of the loosely defined “cognitive fringe:” those who are not neurotypical.**  For example, one researcher might focus on self-medication by people with ADHD, while another might look at drug use in relation to social exclusion/inclusion and identity production among those who self-identify as “freaks.” All respondents will be asked about variations and alterations in conscious experience, what drugs or other techniques they have used or are considering using and why, and so on
  • An online survey, to be combined with interactive infographics and analytic tools, all open to the general population

Qualitative/ethnographic research methods may be supplemented by quantitative tools, for example in tracking health markers and outcomes, although details cannot be confirmed until the funding level is known and researchers can meet and build consensus. As much data will be made publicly available as quickly as possible, within the limits necessitated by ethical considerations.

What I could use help with:

  • Money. I am inexperienced at fund-raising and know little about how to move money around. I do not have a PayPal account (and don’t want one; they have a reputation for withholding funds for political reasons, and this is nothing if not politically controversial) or a credit card (I’ll get one if I need to; so far I’ve been happy without, but maybe it would make this easier?). I can receive email money transfers (to michaelvipperman@gmail.com); I will publicly disclose any contributions I receive. If you can help me raise funds, or contribute in any way, I would be very grateful.
  • Talent. I have a pretty talented social network and some potential collaborators already lined up, but we could always use more. Visual artists, web designers, videographers, researchers and translators are all necessary. What funding will be available for compensation remains to be seen, but I hope to give ample honoraria to all who meaningfully contribute. I am uncomfortable with volunteerism, and do not wish to exploit anybody’s labour, particularly that of artists.
  • Publicity. The more people know about the project, the more donations and content we will potentially have access to, and the more people will access any materials we produce.
  • Content. What are the states or forms of consciousness?  What are the techniques of consciousness alteration? What advice or precautions should we include?
  • Connections. Know of a harm reduction initiative, research group or anyone else we should network with?
  • Criticism. What’s wrong with this proposal? I’ve tried my best but I’m sure there’s room for improvement. Point out any flaws! 

*If you agree with the proposal but not the introduction, then I must apologise for all the editorialising and “musts.” I promise I mean well.

**For ethnographic methods to be most effective, a narrowing of recruitment from “general population” is necessary. I expect that members of the cognitive fringe will be likely both to consider consciousness alteration to be important, and to have some very interesting — and potentially quite useful — things to say on the matter. These are also the populations I believe have the most to benefit from good quality drug education, and I am far more interested in exploring and representing diversity than homogeneity.

Explanatory Note:

The above is the current vision of a project I have had in mind for some time. It is not finished or perfect. I had intended to go public about it via a video funding pitch, but life circumstances forced a delay and that video still remains to be shot. I have made this post public at this time — despite the lack of either a video pitch or a ready means for making online donations — so that my long term intentions may be clear, and in case somebody might stumble across it and offer some assistance or advice. I am not 100% confident that I am ready or able to do something so ambitious, or that major changes to the proposal won’t be necessary. All I know is that this is important, and one way or another, we need to move forward as soon as possible. I should also note that I currently live in Toronto (an expensive city) and work as a landscaper, a good job which affords many opportunities to touch the earth and watch plants change over the seasons, but which pays scarcely more than I need to live in this city, and which often leaves me too tired to perform much in the way of research. The other reason I am seeking funding is because I do not want to do this alone, and cannot expect talented researchers to dedicate their time to the project without adequate compensation.

By putting myself forward for this task, I am not trying to suggest that I know everything there is to know about drugs, or that I know more about drugs than anybody else, or that either of these will ever be the case. I readily accept that I am not a paragon of truth and perfection — far from it; I have many times been embarrassed to find egregious errors in things I’ve written, errors I have sought to remedy but perhaps only compounded. I also exhibit the typology best known as “ADHD,” the diagnosis of which I bear, and which makes certain things that are easy for others very difficult for me. I accept also that to expect to completely revolutionise drug education may be sheer hubris. Nevertheless, I believe in the philosophy of “dream big, start small,” and I cannot think of a better application of what few skills I possess than this.

Want to help me try to change the world?

Three Traditional Ways to Prepare for an Intense Trip

Let’s say you’ve decided that it’s time you took a major foray into the interior world. Perhaps it’s a feeling of restlessness or a crisis of identity, or maybe you just know inside of you that it’s time, that this is something you need to do. You know that the plunge you intend to take may change you forever, and you know that nobody can truly tell you what to expect: whatever the experience brings, it will be a surprise, or it won’t have worked. You want to approach with care and reverence, but you don’t want to presume to bias or pre-determine the experience. So what can you do to ready yourself and to mark the importance of taking a major step?

The following are three methods that come from religious backgrounds and which can be used for nearly any visionary experience. Whether you’re planning a several day total fast, an extended silent retreat, a potent dose of a psychedelic drug in the dark or any other method of transformation or contact with the divine, these are ways to get yourself into such a frame of mind as to allow for rebirth.

Stolen from http://torwars.com/2012/03/24/imperial-agent-weekly-change-builds-character-right-patch-1-2-and-you/changes-ahead/

Tell seven people. This was taught to me by an Ojibwe elder, in the context of preparing for a four day total fast (no food, no water). It might be a little awkward to tell somebody “I’m going to be doing a major ritual of transformation next week” — but just for that reason, you probably won’t do so unless you’re really taking it seriously. Plus, if something should go wrong, seven people will know what you were trying, and in the case of a fast in the woods, where to go looking for you if you don’t come back. This also has the benefit of extending the preparation and anticipation into your community: if you do end up going through some sort of transformation, your friends will know not to be completely surprised. It also means you will likely have a few people eager to hear how it went. If you need someone to talk with afterwards, that can be very handy, as they will know in advance that it’s important for them to make time to talk with you. This is especially useful if you are planning a solo trip, because these may be people you can call on late in the experience if you need an ear or a shoulder. Sharing with others what you are planning can also give them an opportunity to share with you any experiences they’ve had, and you just might be desirous of their advice and well wishes.

Fasting.  Abstaining for a little while from anything you would normally do or consume can help you to mentally mark an upcoming event as significant, and to gear up for it. What you choose to abstain from and for how long (if at all) is up to you. Heavy foods, sex  and recreational drugs are common choices of things to take a break from, perhaps for as long as two weeks. Personally, I often adjust gradually, taking care first and foremost to ensure that I will be as clear headed as possible on the day of, so no staying up late or drinking, and for at least a day before the trip I observe a vegan diet. Heavy foods like meats and cheese are thought to be grounding  and to draw the blood flow away from the brain and into the digestive tract, leaving us less able to go deep into ourselves. That does not necessarily mean starving myself of calories, however: on a classic psychedelic, I’ve found I get the most benefit when I have the energy to think clearly, so I make sure to have a good breakfast the day of (note that on some drugs it’s better to have an empty stomach), and to make plenty of fruits and grains available for during. Others fast more totally and for longer, and find that this works best for them. The more you fast, the more introspective and the less energetic your experience is likely to be. Some visionary traditions — such as various forms of ayahuasca shamanism — have their own lists of specific prohibitions, frequently limiting intake of salt, sugar, oil, fat, spices and pork, and typically encouraging sexual abstinence both before and after the ceremony.

Confession. Have you done wrong? Do you have any regrets you’re holding onto? Such memories might serve as obstacles, or even take you by surprise and plunge you into a dark, emotionally painful trip full of fear and judgement. If you can find a way to get them out of the way beforehand, you might both save yourself some grief, and allow yourself to feel truly ready to begin once the time comes. Personally, I don’t go to a confessor; I go to myself, writing down my thoughts and thinking on them for a time. If you have someone you confess to, whether they be a friend, a lover, a priest or a therapist, by all means use them. The important thing is to spend some time admitting to the things you’ve done lately about which you are not totally at peace, laying it all out so you won’t be caught off guard. Apologising and laying to rest old grudges is an important part of letting go of the past, and might allow you to begin with a clean slate and move in a new direction. Questions I ask myself include: When have I hurt somebody? When have I been greedy? When have I pretended to be something other than what I am? Who have I disrespected or failed to honour as I should?

Stolen from http://web.njcu.edu/sites/tlc/Content/tlc_phoenix_newsletter.asp

For the purposes of this article, I have assumed that you wish to prepare without predetermining what your experience will consist of or focus on, instead seeking to rid yourself of obstacles. The opposite approach is to set an intention, such as by preparing questions you want answers to, surrounding yourself in relevant symbolism or laying out images of loved ones. Once you have developed familiarity with visionary experiences, you may have a good idea of the areas you need to work on, and setting an intention can be very helpful. When you’re new to tripping, however, the former approach may be preferable. Don’t overthink or try to control it; let what happens, happen.

Whatever techniques you use, the important thing is to put your mind in the right place so that you will be free of distractions and ready to go deep. That doesn’t mean, however, that elaborate preparations are totally necessary; many of my respondents report that some of their best trips were spontaneous and totally unplanned. Don’t feel that you *have* to follow any particular protocol. If you think ritual can help you get in the right state of mind, pick which ritual is right for you and your circumstances, and observe it insofar as it remains useful.

Further reading:
Cleansing and Banishing Rituals – techniques to create a distraction free space
Potentiation – ways to make a trip stronger
The Psychotherapeutic Setting — a trip setting designed around maximum introspection, ideal for first timers

Update and Rededication

Back in June of 2011, I began posting weekly articles, at first to do with the anniversary of the G20, and then mostly about psychedelic drugs. I maintained a weekly rhythm until December that year when within an arbitrarily short period I wrote my best academic paper to date, an award nominated rap song and two take home exams, the combined effort of which was enough to disorient me for a while and throw me off my rhythm. When I recovered, I was in a new and very intense intimate relationship, working primarily on visual art (none of which has been digitised — sorry!), and completely neglecting this blog. Between then and now I publicly posted only twice: once to explain why I’d trolled my convocation, and once because around the time I’d stopped posting I’d developed an interesting model of the varieties of motivation, and it was bothering me that 9 months had gone by and it still wasn’t available for public consumption.

Above, you’ll notice I said “publicly posted.” I did actually write a bit here and there, just that it’s all hidden away for now. I always try to let things gestate as long as they need and not to go public with them prematurely… and I knew that if I were to start posting regularly again, I would want a buffer so as to guarantee weekly content. Well, I certainly have that: at least a couple months worth mostly finished articles, plus sundry fragments and drafts. But there’s something else that’s been holding me back. You see, I have this project/dream/plan — some of you may already be aware of it — which is potentially rather ambitious in scope, and well beyond anything I actually have any familiarity with. I keep toying with the pieces of it, and it keeps being almost right… right enough to speak openly of in person, but never quite ready to actually put on here for all to see. So I procrastinated.

The purpose of this post is to explain to what’s been going on with this blog, and what to expect in weeks to come: a return to weekly articles, Sundays at noon, with possible gaps due to possible travels. One of the first (either this Sunday or the next) will be an attempt to describe the project I’ve been developing. Topics will vary from the theoretic to the practical, and, as before, most but not all will relate in some way to understanding drug use.

While I’m rededicating, a few personal pledges:

I pledge to write from a place of love and never use this space as a vehicle for hate, nor to respond in anger to any who comment.
I pledge to try my best to provide useful and accurate information.
I pledge to exercise humility and not to pretend to have total knowledge on any subject about which I speak, gracefully accepting criticism, and correcting any mistakes I become aware of.
I pledge to honour the requests of all my respondents regarding confidentiality and how they are to be represented.
I pledge to give credit where credit’s due, for images and, when I can remember the source, ideas.
I pledge to make my writings as inclusive as possible, recognising my own privilege and not assuming that my readers will come from similar backgrounds or perspectives.
Lastly, I pledge to try to have some fun and not take everything completely seriously all the time.

See you in a few days. :-)

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